


Ask John & Sherlock

by Mad_Lori



Series: Performance in a Leading Role [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Interviews, M/M, Questions, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Unconventional Format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 9,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Lori/pseuds/Mad_Lori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of responses by John and Sherlock (from "Performance in a Leading Role") to questions submitted by readers on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I am including the text of the question, but not the username of the person who asked it (where applicable). To see the original text of the questions, you can visit my Tumblr (madlori.tumblr.com) under the "ask john and sherlock" tag. I'm also importing these without editing, as they were posted, so there may be some messiness.

**Do either of you have any advice for young, gay, teens?**

Holmes: I find it endlessly annoying that I am now looked to for advice on all manner of so-called “gay issues” just by virtue of being in a relationship with a man, as if that empowers me as some sort of spokesman or expert on the subject. I was never a gay teenager so I have no advice to offer.

Watson: Sherlock, do shut up, you’re very much in the way. Please don’t mind him, he was sick the day they taught tact at school.

Holmes: And a good job I was, as that would have been an abhorrent waste of my educational time.

Watson: I wasn’t a gay teenager either, but I was a very poor teenager who was ostracized, so I think I can empathize. My advice would be the same that I’d give to any teen who feels like an outsider. Find people you can connect with, wherever and whoever they are. On the Internet, you’re never alone. Find a safe person in your life who you can talk to, whether it’s your parents or an aunt or a friend’s parent or even the barista at the coffeeshop.

Holmes: Oh, that’s lovely advice, John. Advise an at-risk youth to seek out the company of strangers.

Watson: Don’t sit there and act like you weren’t an outsider as a teenager, either. How did you handle it?

Holmes: I didn’t need to handle it. I was quite independent and happy to be so.

Watson: Some of us need the society of other people. The other thing that helped me when I was a kid was having my own pursuits. I used to want to be a doctor. I studied medical textbooks all the time and thought about what I’d do when I was free and could do as I liked. Because that time will come. Sherlock, please bestir that massive intellect and offer some kind of advice that isn’t useless, there’s a good chap.

Holmes: Very well, then. I’d advise any teenager, especially one struggling with their identity and their place in the world, to make themselves interesting. You’ll be the one living inside your own head for your entire life, make sure the environs are stimulating. Read on a variety of subjects, listen to a lot of different people. Learn about everything you can. Practice talking about your own thoughts and opinions. Become a communicator. Absorb as much of the vastness of the human experience as possible. Make yourself interesting and you will never be bored or alone, and neither will the people you will meet in life.

Watson: Now, was that so hard? That was lovely advice.

Holmes: By the way, “young, gay teens” is redundant, as “teens” are by definition “young.”

Watson: I rescind my previous statement.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sherlock, what was it like working with John Watson considering his film history. Is the hype true?**

Holmes: I came into the project with some preconceived notions John is aware of this, he’d not claim that my preconceptions had no basis.

Watson: Unfortunately, no, I would not.

Holmes: Happily, those notions were soon proved baseless. I enjoy the unexpected, and it was unexpected to discover that my co-star was possessed of a frankly intimidating amount of talent.

Watson: Sherlock, I’m blushing.

Holmes: Well, stop it, an objective fact is no cause for embarrassment.

Watson: Anyway, you’re biased.

Holmes: I beg your pardon, I most certainly am not. Or at the very least I was not when I made this discovery. So to answer your question, the “hype,” as you call it, is absolutely true. I’m rather eager for the viewing public to discover just how true it is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Do you think that society is modernizing in terms of accepting the changing gender roles of man and woman ( meaning a man can be seen as effeminate, and a woman as masculine and not be ridiculed as gay or strange), or is it something else?**

Watson:  I think that no part of culture is more invested in maintaining and perpetuating gender roles than film culture.

Holmes:  Disagree.

Watson:  What a surprise.

Holmes:  I would say that there is no sector more dedicated to perpetuating and exploiting gender stereotypes than advertising.

Watson:  Yeah, I’ll give you that one.

Holmes:  You and I aren’t the best people to ask, though.

Watson:  Why not?  What’s wrong with us?

Holmes:  Not a thing.  But we’re British, which in Hollywood-driven gender culture means we automatically lose a few macho points off the top.


	4. Chapter 4

**Would the two of you consider doing more work together, and if so, are there any definite plans right now?**

Watson: (laughs) Everyone’s so keen to get us on screen together again.  Why do you suppose that is, Sherlock?

Holmes:  I’m sure I don’t know.  It’s not as if they’d be waiting for us to fall in love  _again_.  Perhaps they’re hoping we’d break up this time.

Watson:  We’ve been asked several times, but we’re not interested.   _To a Stranger_  was a very special film, both on its own merits and to us personally.  Neither of us are interested in becoming a unit as actors.  We each have our own careers and our own interests.

Holmes:  Much of the interest seems to stem from a prurient desire to see us play lovers again.  That is definitely off the table.  We’ve no desire to re-enact any aspect of our private lives offscreen.

Watson:  Perhaps we’d consider it if we could play archenemies or something.  Spend the whole film trying to kill each other?

Holmes:  (considers)  That might be — amusing.


	5. Chapter 5

**What do you two feel is the most important thing about "To a Stranger" being made?**

Watson:  I loved that it was a film centering on a gay relationship that treated it the same as it would a straight relationship.  It showed that there is no “gay experience” or “straight experience,” just the “human experience.”  The things that gay people value, the things they go through, are no more or less valid and are often the same as the things straight people go through.

Holmes:  The most important thing.  Hmm.  Perhaps it’s not terribly correct of me to say, but to me, the content of the film is less important than the fact that it gave John a chance to rediscover himself as an actor, and for the world to see what he’s really capable of.  

Watson:  Sherlock.  I’m touched.

Holmes:  The world would have continued to turn much as it has always done if the film had never been made, John.  But  _my_  world was materially altered by your presence in the film.  So while the political or societal impact isn’t negligible, the most important thing to me is that you were in it.

Watson:  I…I think I might have a bit of a cry.

Holmes:  Oh, shush.  Pay no attention to him, he’s winding you up.  He finds it amusing to overreact when I express an emotional sentiment, as if such a thing were a rarity on a par with Halley’s Comet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Any plans to settle down? Have a family?**

Holmes:  In what way are we not settled?

Watson:  We’re pretty settled, actually.

Holmes:  And do we not each have families?

Watson:  She means our own family, Sherlock.

Holmes:  In what way are our families not our own?

Watson:  Sherlock!  Stop being difficult!  She means have children of our own.

Holmes:  Our lifestyle is hardly conducive to the raising of children, John.

Watson:  Is anyone’s?

Holmes:  I would be a horrific father.

Watson:  You would be a fantastic father.

Holmes:  In case you hadn’t guessed, we’ve not had this conversation for ourselves.

Watson:  We’ll have to get back to you on that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Would you be comfortable alongside each other again, now that you're involved? Do you think your real-life relationship would affect your ability to act together without an overt sense of intimacy, or would your experiences only strengthen your working partnership?**

Holmes:  It wouldn’t affect our ability to act together.  We’re both professionals.

Watson:  Might save the production some money.

Holmes:  How so?

Watson:  One trailer instead of two.


	8. Chapter 8

**What was it like kissing each other for the first time? It's what we see in the film, right?**

Holmes:  I assume you are referring to our characters’ first kiss, and not ours.

Watson:  Isn’t that what she said?

Holmes:  Not directly, no.

Watson:  Yes, it is the kiss you see in the film.  In fact, we did not rehearse the kiss itself, just the scene around it, and I believe the take in the film was the first take, so the kiss in the film is our first kiss of any variety.

Holmes:  Keep in mind that our characters were the ones kissing, not us.

Watson:  Quite so.  As to what it was like?  Honestly, it wasn’t much different than anyone else I’ve ever kissed in a film.  

Holmes:  Except you had to stand on tiptoes a bit.

Watson:  Yes, thanks for that,  _dearest._


	9. Chapter 9

**So, the director made an unusual choice, shooting nearly the entire film in chronological order. What was that process like for the two of you, getting to know your characters and each other in the same order? How would you compare it to the way you usually film?**

Holmes:  I have had other directors make the same choice, within the bounds of practicality, and I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we preferred it.

Watson:  It’s always a challenge to jump from one point in a character’s arc through the film to another, sometimes in the same day.  In this film, Sherlock and I experienced the growth of Mark and Benjamin’s relationship organically, as it would occur in real life, and in some ways it mirrored our own relationship as we became friends offscreen.  We didn’t know each other when we did our first screen test, and Ang rehearsed us separately so that we’d be all but strangers when we started filming.  Just like the characters.

Holmes:  John did make some friendly overtures before filming started, because he is a friendly sort of person.  I cannot make the same claim and I’m afraid I was bloody rude about it.

Watson:  No ruder than I expected.  I was amazed you showed up at all, even if it was just to tell me that you were leaving.

Holmes:  At least I didn’t stick you with the check.


	10. Chapter 10

**If you were stuck on an island with each other, what items would you rather have with yourselves?**

Watson:  Sherlock’s violin.

Holmes:  That was a quick answer.

Watson:  And an obvious one.  Apart from the boring stuff like food, water, and a satellite phone, I’d want your violin.

Holmes:  I find these sorts of hypotheticals tiresome.  Presumably they’re supposed to reveal something deep and profound about my inner self.  All I can think about is sunscreen and dental floss.

Watson:  And of course…

Holmes and Watson:  Lube.


	11. Chapter 11

**Would the two of you like to work together again? If so, what kind of project do you think works best to highlight each of your strengths?**

Watson: There have been a lot of suggestions that we ought to work together again, but honestly, we’re both very reluctant.

Holmes: It’s important that we maintain our own identities as actors. We may be a partnership offscreen, but it does not follow that we’d wish to become one onscreen.

Watson: For me, there’s a sentimental thing about it, too. Working with Sherlock on “To a Stranger” was one of the most professionally rewarding experiences of my career, and obviously it changed my life. It seems like it would make it less special if we tried to replicate that experience. Don’t you think so, Sherlock?

Holmes: Superstition isn’t the issue for me, just anxiety.

Watson: Anxiety, really? What are you anxious about?

Holmes: That if you had to be around me at work all day and then at home as well, you’d finally tire of me.

Watson: For such a brilliant man, you certainly are daft sometimes.


	12. Chapter 12

**In rapid succession: favourite song; favourite book; favourite artist?**

Holmes: Favorite song? I think…

Watson: No, wait. Let’s name each other’s.

Holmes: Please tell me this isn’t another of those “how well do you know your partner” routines.

Watson: Oh, come on, song, book and artist oughtn’t be too hard. What, you afraid you don’t know mine?

Holmes: Nonsense. Proceed with your ridiculous not-a-test.

Watson: Very well. He’d tell you his favorite song is some violin concerto or another but he’d be lying. His actual favorite song is “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails.

Holmes: Trent Reznor is an underappreciated genius.

Watson: His favorite book? Well, he’s got loads of scholarly tomes on every subject you can think of, but the only book he ever spent extra money on for a first-printing signed copy was “The Mysteries of Harris Burdick” by Chris Van Allsburg.

Holmes: I enjoy the surrealism.

Watson: Favorite artist is easy. Caspar David Friedrich.

Holmes: How on earth do you know that?

Watson: I’m clever as shit. Your turn.

Holmes: Very well, then. Your favorite song is “Brothers in Arms” by Dire Straits. It’s the only one you never skip when it comes on the iPod. Your favorite book is “A Walk In the Woods” by Bill Bryson as is evident by the condition of your copy. And your favorite artist? That, I confess, I’m not clear on.

Watson: John Singer Sargent.

Holmes: Ah yes. Fitting.

Watson: How is that fitting?

Holmes: A realistic impressionist with a strong sense of color and emotion. Sounds like you.

Watson: Did you just compare me to an oil painting?

Holmes: Well, you are a work of art, my dear.

Watson: Excuse me. I’ll be off in the loo, honking.


	13. Chapter 13

**What is your response to being the new Brangelina?**

Holmes: Brangewhat now?

Watson: Brad and Angelina, sweetheart.

Holmes: Who comes up with this nonsense? Do they have some ridiculous portmanteau name for us, too?

Watson: Happily, none of our names mesh effectively, so no. What would they call us? Jerlock? Oh god, don’t print that, they’ll start using it.

Holmes: Jerlock. Sounds like an antique firearm.

Watson: Oh yes, I have a genuine mint-condition Jerlock muzzle-loading rifle in my collection.

Holmes: It jams up appallingly, but it’s very accurate.

Watson: I once used it to kill a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Holmes: John, let’s us behave. We’re driving this poor interviewer to drink.

Watson: What was the question?

Holmes: Something about Brangelina.

Watson: Oh, right. I don’t think we’re the new Brangelina. Anyway, do we need a new one? What’s wrong with the old one? They’re lovely people. She’s a bit scary but he’s nice as can be.

Holmes: If anything we’re the new Paul and Joanne. Give or take forty years.

Watson: Oh, someone sure thinks well of himself.

Holmes: I’ve always thought you had a Paul Newman quality.

Watson: I do make a lovely pasta sauce.


	14. Chapter 14

**How do you two cope with the separation when you are both filming at very far apart locations?**

Watson:  Well, so far we’ve managed to avoid having to cope too much.  Scheduling can be a nightmare but I think the most we’ve been apart since [redacted] is…what, Sherlock, a week?

Holmes:  Ten days.  That was when I was in Amsterdam.

Watson.  Of course.  I’m sure we’ll have to deal with a long separation eventually.

Holmes:  God bless the Internet.


	15. Chapter 15

**How do you feel about your new status as "gay icons"?**

Holmes:  Are we icons?

Watson:  I’m afraid so.

Holmes:  Did we mean to do that?

Watson:  I think it just sort of happened when we went public with our relationship.

Holmes:  Well, I can’t say I’m entirely comfortable with it.  I don’t know how loving one man qualifies me to represent an entire demographic.  Shouldn’t one have to put in some time in the gay trenches first?

Watson:  What exactly are the “gay trenches?”  The sales floor at Abercrombie?  It doesn’t matter, Sherlock.  We did something that was inspirational to a lot of people.

Holmes:  That’s not why we did it, though.

Watson:  No.  But nobody who’s really inspirational gets up one day and decides to go do something that’ll be inspirational.  They do what they think is right as best they can, and it ends up being inspirational by default.

Holmes:  And if it had gone horribly wrong, would we be a cautionary tale instead?

Watson:  Probably.

Holmes:  Then perhaps people should look elsewhere for inspiration.

Watson:  Where?

Holmes:  How should I know?  Maybe they ought to look to themselves.  That’s where I got mine, from myself and from you.

Watson:  …

Holmes:  John?

Watson:  I love you.

Holmes:  See?   _That’s_  inspirational.  Gay icons, indeed.


	16. Chapter 16

**If you weren't actors, what would you both be doing?**

Watson:  When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a doctor.

Holmes:  You’d make a good doctor.

Watson:  What makes you think so?

Holmes:  You’re a caretaker.  It’s in your nature.

Watson:  I know what you’d be doing.  Fighting crime.

Holmes:  Not necessarily.  Puzzles, mysteries, challenges.  That’s what draws me, and one finds those things in many places.  I can’t imagine myself among those whose job it is to fight crime.  I’d have to set myself up as some sort of free agent.

Watson:  Well, you can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting a show on telly about somebody solving crime with their special expertise.  Perhaps we could solve crime with our acting prowess.

Holmes: How would that work?

Watson:  I don’t know.  Jessica Fletcher managed it, somehow.


	17. Chapter 17

**Why do you think so many Hollywood actors remain in the closet? Do you think your British backgrounds helped give you confidence to come out?**

Watson:  I never used to understand why so many actors stay closeted until I was staring down the barrel of it myself.

Holmes:  It isn’t homophobia, at least not direct.  It’s indirect.  Hollywood doesn’t care about your sexuality, they only care about money.  Anything that impacts your ability to sell a film impacts your career.  If you’re known to be gay, the fear is that Middle America won’t go see you in a film.

Watson:  Whether that’s true, right or appropriate doesn’t matter.  

Holmes:  It’s easier in Britain.  But both of us had been working in Hollywood for many years, so I’m not sure it had an effect on us.

Watson:  Nobody’s willing to take the risk so nobody finds out if that’s even true anymore.  It’s a vicious circle.  But nobody of Sherlock’s stature had ever come out before.

Holmes:  My stature?  You have stature, too.

Watson:  But you had prestige and history and credibility.  I was Mr. Date Movie Guy.

Holmes:  A title I daresay you weren’t sorry to give up.

Watson:  It was a good niche to find, but I wasn’t sorry to find a new one, no.


	18. Chapter 18

**What's one thing surprising thing you've found out about each other since getting together?**

Watson:  That’s a tough one.  Many things about Sherlock are surprising.

Holmes:  And very little about John is.  He is exactly as he seems to be.  I suppose that in itself is surprising, since is is true about so few people.

Watson:  To look at him, you’d think he’d be a neat freak but he’s a slob.  You’d think he’d be super careful about his diet but he lives on coffee and takeaway, when he eats at all.  You’d never think he’d be a gym rat but he works out every day.

Holmes:  I admit I was surprised to learn that John is a very good cook.

Watson:  It’s a hobby.  And yet he lives on takeaway.

Holmes:  You never have  _time_  to cook.  I’d cheerfully eschew the takeaway to eat anything you made.

Watson:  But the most surprising thing I learned?  Well — okay.  When we first got together I was afraid that I’d have to learn to get by on very little affection.  But I haven’t.  He’s very demonstrative.

Holmes:  You’ve never told me that.  That you were afraid I wouldn’t be.

Watson:  Well, you proved me wrong very quickly, so I never had to.


	19. Chapter 19

**Do you think that Hollywood is hypocritical in its treatment of homosexuality as a topic? For example, films like Brokeback Mountain, and indeed To a Stranger, are lauded as excellent, but gay actors are often forced to remain in the closet. Why do you think this is?**

Holmes and Watson:  Money.

Watson:  Ha!  Jinx.

Holmes:  Individuals in Hollywood have their own sets of priorities, moral, ethical, practical, financial, pick your motive.  But Hollywood as an entity has only one: money.

Watson:  Sherlock and I and every other actor might be motivated by a desire to do good artistic work, as are many writers, directors, musicians and the like, but the people who write the checks only care about whether or not the product we create can be sold for a profit.  It’s a bizarre juxtaposition of creativity and ruthless profiteering that has some unfortunate consequences.

Holmes:  The celluloid closet being one of them.  Believe me, if it could be shown that an actor’s private sexual orientation were of no consequence to a film’s box office returns, actors could be as out or closeted as they wished.  But their public status impacts their marketability and the sorts of roles they can take.

Watson:  One hopes that things can change.  Sherlock and I are doing all right so far.  We’ll see if that continues.


	20. Chapter 20

**What are each of your dream roles? What's a role you would never want to play?**

Watson:  (blushes)

Holmes:  (smiling)  No, go on.  Tell the nice lady.

Watson:  It’s embarrassing.

Holmes:  If you don’t, I will.

Watson:  Oh, all right!  I’ve always wanted to play a superhero.  Any superhero.  Sadly, that’s not looking too likely these days.

Holmes:  Why on earth not?

Watson:  I’m a bit long in the tooth for the tights, Sherlock.

Holmes:  Nonsense.  Robert was older than you when he played Iron Man the first time.

Watson:  I’m too short.

Holmes:  See above, re: Robert.  

Watson:  As for never, well — if I never play a mild-mannered nonthreatening man in a romantic comedy again, I’ll die happy.

Holmes:  I’ve always wanted to play a famous scientist in a biopic.

Watson:  Which one?

Holmes:  Oh, I don’t know.  So many scientists deserve the biopic treatment.  Tesla, perhaps.  He is fascinating.

Watson:  I bet I can guess what role you’d never want.

Holmes:  Yes, I imagine you can.

Watson:  You see, Sherlock is offered parts in period dramas at least once a month and he turns them all down.

Holmes:  I don’t know why they keep asking.

Watson:  Have you looked in the mirror lately?  You absolutely scream “historical,” Sherlock.  You were born to wear breeches and powdered wigs.

Holmes:  I’ll pass, thanks.

Watson:  Pity.  I rather like those period costumes.  Oh, bugger - I just had a vision of you playing Valmont in a remake of “Dangerous Liaisons.”  I think I’m going to pass out.

Holmes:  I never said I wouldn’t wear the clothes for  _you_.  Just as long as I’m not being a) paid or b) filmed.

Watson:  Anyone got a paper bag I can breathe into?


	21. Chapter 21

**Many A-list Hollywood actors are Brits who work and live cross-continentally. What are your feelings about America? Do you find you prefer time in one place or the other?**

Watson:  Neither of us are very fond of LA, but we have to spend most of our time there.  Fortunately we both love our house, so it’s a haven for us.  We don’t have a home that we share in London, just Sherlock’s flat, so when we’re there it can feel a bit cramped even though we love the city.

Holmes:  I agree about LA.  I’ve enjoyed other parts of America.  We’ve talked about getting a place in New York but it just isn’t practical.

Watson:  I don’t know if you could live without American coffee for too long these days, anyway.

Holmes:  Quiet, John.  They’ll revoke my UK citizenship.


	22. Chapter 22

**If you could change anything about the other, what would it be? And what about the other would you never change?**

Watson:  Oh God.  Are you serious?  

Holmes:  I believe that’s what’s referred to as a “loaded question.”

Watson:  I would make him shorter.

Holmes:   _Shorter?_

Watson:  It is completely unnecessary for you to be so bloody tall.

Holmes:  I am not excessively tall.  I’m just over six feet.

Watson:  Tall enough.

Holmes:  In that case, I would make you  _taller_.

Watson:  Hey!

Holmes:  Actually…no, that’s incorrect.  I wouldn’t want you to be taller.

Watson:  Let’s declare any and all physical characteristics out of bounds.

Holmes:  Because changes to our personality are somehow  _less_  disconcerting?  At least our physical forms are more or less the result of genetics.

Watson:  If I could change one thing, it would be that you’d have a better relationship with your family.  It makes me sad that you don’t.  And one thing that I would never change is…well, whatever wires that got crossed in your head and made you think that being with me was a good idea.

Holmes:  If I could change one thing it would be that you would never again make a self-deprecating comment like the one you just made.  And I would never change…(sighs).  Your hair.

Watson:  My hair?

Holmes:  What shall I say instead, John?  That I’d never change anything about you?  Because that’s the truth.  But that sounds too  much like a greeting card so I shall say that I’d never change your hair and be done with it.

Watson:  …

Holmes:  What?  Why are you staring at  _my_  hair?

Watson:  Have you ever thought of going ginger?  It’d look good on you.

Holmes:  Next question, please.


	23. Chapter 23

**What do you two hope audiences take away or learn from To A Stranger?**

Watson: I’d hope that people would take away the fact that the story of humanity is the story of both gay and straight people, and everyone in between. There is no “gay agenda,” there are just people making their way through life, like everyone else.

Holmes: I beg your pardon. I definitely have a gay agenda.

Watson: Oh, really?

Holmes: Item number one on today’s gay agenda is to email my agent.

Watson: I need to pick up my dry cleaning.

Holmes: We’re out of milk.

Watson: Hang on a mo, let me just add that to the gay agenda.


	24. Chapter 24

**Is there a film/play etc. you wish you had never been a part of?**

Holmes: One of the best things about being an actor is that there is no acting experience from which you do not learn. Even a project that turned out poorly, or that wasn’t what you expected, is an opportunity for further study and growth. So even though there have been some projects that I would not do again in retrospect, I do not regret having experienced them, because they helped to shape me as I am today.

Watson: That’s a very mature attitude.

Holmes: I am nothing if not mature.

Watson: Oh, I see. That must have been some other man in my house the other night, throwing a full-on temper tantrum because his suit came back from the tailor with a hem that was half an inch too long.

Holmes: That suit was vintage Tom Ford and now it’s ruined! Is it too much to ask for the appropriate amount of break in the trousers? Honestly.


	25. Chapter 25

**You’ve both made no secret of the fact that you are fans of the others’ acting. John, what type of role would you like to see Sherlock tackle and vice versa? Are there “dream roles” perhaps known only to you both that you’d like to put out there?**

Watson:  Well, I still have a little fantasy of seeing Sherlock in a nice Regency drama.  For my own reasons.

Holmes:  Oh, good Lord.

Watson:  But he wouldn’t want that.  What I’d love is to see him do something funny.  He’s never had a comic role, and he’s really quite funny.

Holmes:  I’m not funny at all.

Watson:  See?  He’s hilarious!

Holmes:  You are delusional, John.

Watson:  He has snappy timing and he’d be fantastic in something sharp and talky with intelligent humor.  I would love that.

Holmes:  I’ll take that under advisement.

Watson:  What about you?

Holmes:  I would enjoy seeing John play a villain.  A master thief, perhaps.  Cary Grant in “To Catch a Thief.”  I think he’d carry that off rather well.

Watson:  You just like me in black turtlenecks.

Holmes:  No comment.


	26. Chapter 26

**Describe the average Sunday chez Jerlock.**

Watson:  Jerlock?   _Jerlock?_

Holmes:  John…

Watson:  No, I  _told_  you they’d start using that term if it got out!  ARGH!

Holmes:  Look on the bright side.  They could be calling us “Hotson.”

Watson:  …

Holmes:  See, it can always be…

Watson:  I sort of like that one, actually.  Hotson.  Hmm, yes.  Because we’re  _hot_ , son.

Holmes:  Oh, dear Lord.

Watson:  But back to the question.  An average Sunday chez  _Hotson._ Not sure there is such a thing.  An average Sunday, that is to say.

Holmes:  It isn’t uncommon for one or both of us to work on Sundays.  Interviews or meetings or things of that nature.

Watson:  But if we’re not working, Sundays tend to be the Days of Random Puttering.  Do things around the house, watch that film that’s been on the DVR for three weeks, purge a closet, re-hang that picture that fell down, and the like.

Holmes:  Usually after a long lie-in, though.  

Watson:  Lie-in with laptops.

Holmes:  Oh, John.  You make it all sound so sexy.

Watson:  Shut up, smart-arse.


	27. Chapter 27

**Where do you two consider "home" to be?**

Holmes: Oh, dear.

Watson: What?

Holmes: John, this is a blatant ploy to elicit a treacly sentiment from us. It’s my cue to say something like “Home is wherever John is” and look at you with hearts in my eyes.

Watson: …

Holmes: You’re thinking about “hearts in my eyes” literally, aren’t you?

Watson: Yes. It’s very disturbing.

Holmes: I have no doubt.

Watson: Shall we give this question an actual answer?

Holmes: Oh, I suppose. We spend the most time in Los Angeles at your house.

Watson: I think it’s our house by now.

Holmes: I keep a flat in London. We’re there a goodish amount of time.

Watson: We have been discussing selling my house and buying or building a new one on L.A., one that would be more our home together, rather than mine which you moved into.

Holmes: This hasn’t made it past the discussion phase.

Watson: Frankly, I rather dread the arguments we’d inevitably have about where to buy and what sort of house to get.

Holmes: Yes, because we never argue now, over such things as who borrowed my favorite tie and got wine on it.

Watson: Or who threw away my autographed Hitchcock script!

Holmes: Yes. Such arguments never occur in our happy bungalow of domestic bliss.

Watson. No, never.


	28. Chapter 28

**Are you worried about being typecast as gay characters?**

Holmes: No.

Watson: No? You told me you were!

Holmes: I believe what I said was that I feared being typecast, full stop. Being typecast as a gay character is a subset of that circumstance.

Watson: You see what I have to live with?

Holmes: No actor wishes to be typecast.

Watson: I was typecast for the bulk of my career. Honestly, the idea of breaking out of that box, even if it is to swap out one typecasting for another, seems like an improvement.

Holmes: The notion of typecasting is in itself a bit of an arbitrary construct. All of us experience a certain degree of typecasting just based on who we are as people and actors. No one would cast me as a football coach, for example, based solely on my demeanor and manner as an actor. I am capable of altering that demeanor. Were I to be cast as a football coach, I have every confidence that I could adapt myself to portray the role convincingly.

Watson: This must happen. Immediately. Attention please, casting directors.

Holmes: The point I’m making is that such a role would likely never be offered to me. Just as it’s unlikely John would be offered a role as a professional basketball player.

Watson: Unless I was one of those plucky underdog sorts in a Disney film. You know, succeeding against the odds. Like Rudy.

Holmes: John, aren’t you enough of a plucky underdog succeeding against the odds in reality?

Watson: You’re right! Where’s my slow clap? I think I’ve earned my slow clap.

Holmes: I will give you a slow clap whenever you like.

Watson: I think we’re getting into a bit of a dodgy area here.


	29. Chapter 29

**What have the reactions been like from your friends and family regarding your relationship?**

Watson: You take this one.

Holmes: John…

Watson: I…I can’t.

Holmes: I think the predominant reaction among my own acquaintance was surprise. Not that I was with a man but that anyone at all could tolerate me long enough to pursue a relationship.

Watson: That’s ridiculous.

Holmes: I may be exaggerating a little. I have just my brother for family. He is glad that I am happy, he doesn’t care who I am happy with, as long as they aren’t stupid.

Watson: My friends have been very supportive. I can’t say that some of them weren’t surprised. But it’s as Sherlock said. It’s less surprise that I’m with a man and more surprise that it’s Sherlock. As for my family…well, my siblings are glad I’m happy. My parents are a work in progress. They didn’t take it well at first. They’re still not thrilled, my father more so than my mother. I think they’ll come around. It would have been easier had we not gone public. But now my father sees me on magazine covers and on telly with Sherlock and it’s like having it thrown in his face every time, and it isn’t like he can hide it from his mates down the pub.

Holmes: John, I’m…

Watson: No, stop. I can’t hear you say you’re sorry one more bloody time. It isn’t your fault, or mine. And don’t get that look. You are absolutely worth it.

Holmes: I have to work hard to believe that.

Watson: If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be with you. Full stop.


	30. Chapter 30

**What sort of films do you typically watch? Any favourites of the kind that can take dozens of viewings and not get boring?**

Watson: I have always been quite mad for Bond films. I love the stuff, as ridiculous as it gets.

Holmes: [wearily] Even “Moonraker.”

Watson: Oh, especially “Moonraker.” I rather think Sherlock would make a brilliant Bond, don’t you?

Holmes: Don’t be daft. Bond has to be suave and muscular and ready for action.

Watson: What, and you think you are not those things? Because you are.

Holmes: I suppose you’d want to be my Bond girl.

Watson: [snorts] Yes, nobody at all would cry foul if James Bond came over all gay, Sherlock. Your turn.

Holmes: I like foreign films, mostly. I’m particularly fond of mid-century French cinema, and of course the Swedish films…of the…John, what’s the matter with you?

Watson: [laughing] You are such a clot, you know that?

Holmes: I beg your pardon.

Watson: Don’t you believe him. Oh, he likes foreign films well enough, but when he sits down to watch something for fun he always goes right for the slasher films. The gorier, the better. If there’s a group of clueless twentysomethings in a cabin somewhere with a killer on the loose, he’s all over it.

Holmes: Don’t be ridiculous. I watch those films for…for…

Watson: If you’re going to try for some daft, intellectual rationalization as to why you like cheesy slasher films, I can’t wait to hear it.

Holmes: I also love Hitchcock!

Watson: You do, indeed. But given a choice, you’ll go for “Prom Night” every time.


	31. Chapter 31

**What would you have done if coming out as a couple had not been taken so well?**

Holmes:  I’m not sure one could characterize the reaction to our unmasking as “taken so well.”

Watson:  Come on, Sherlock, it could have been so much worse.

Holmes:  The fact that it could have been worse does not excuse some of the reactions we did encounter.

Watson:  What would we have done?  Dealt with it, I suppose.

Holmes:  I had a plan.

Watson:  You had a plan?

Holmes:  A brilliant plan.

Watson:  Why am I just now hearing about this brilliant plan?

Holmes:  I never had the need to implement it.

Watson:  Can you hear that little edge of disappointment in his voice?  That he never got to show off his brilliant plan?  Come on, astonish us.

Holmes:  No.

Watson:  Don’t be a git.

Holmes:  No, I’m not telling you now.

Watson:  Fine, I don’t care, anyway.

Holmes:  All I’ll say is that it involved telemark skiing.

Watson:  You don’t ski.

Holmes:  I could ski. 

Watson:  You don’t, though.

Holmes:  Telemark skiing, the Staten Island Ferry and a bottle of single-malt Scotch.  Just a few of the elements of my brilliant plan.

Watson:  You are just making this up now.

Holmes:  I am offended that you doubt the existence of my plan.

Watson:  Go stand in the corner and face the wall.


	32. Chapter 32

**What was it like shooting the sex scene in To A Stranger?**

John:  You want to take this one, honey?

Sherlock: [harrumphs] He only calls me that when he’s trying to manipulate me.

John:  Honestly, it’s a bit of a blur.

Sherlock:  At the time, it wasn’t all that different from the other sex scenes I’d shot.

John:  I hadn’t ever done one that…graphic.  Mine had all been soft-focus and romantic.

Sherlock:  I admit, it’s difficult to regard it objectively as it was, and not in light of subsequent events.  

John:  When I try to remember it, all I can remember is…well.  Our first time…you know, in reality.

Sherlock:  Which was much different.

John:  I suppose the best evidence of the experience is the scene as it appears in the film.

Sherlock:  Perhaps we ought to watch it again.  It’s been awhile.

John:  It has, yes.  A rewatch might be due.

Sherlock:  For research.

John:  Of course.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello! I'd like to know who your friends are in the hollywood scene?**

John:  I’m pleased to say that we’ve acquired some more since our upheaval; I’d been rather afraid it would go the other way.

Sherlock:  I have never been terribly social.  John’s rather dragged me into a larger social circle than I’d have had otherwise.

John:  I’ve always been close with Rachel, my “Rewind” co-star, and we’ve spent some time with her and her husband recently.  I’ve been friends with Paul Bettany since I graduated drama school.

Sherlock:  I suppose there were a few people I was friendly with.  A few people from RADA.  I find it much easier to socialize with John than on my own.

John:  Yes, I’m his human buffer zone.

Sherlock:  You’re a tempering agent.

John:  Every boy’s childhood dream.  To trail after his husband saying “What Sherlock really meant to say was…”

Sherlock:  But you do it so well.

John:  You are ridiculous.


	34. Chapter 34

**John and Sherlock, what was the funniest moment at your wedding?**

John:  Were there any funny moments at our wedding?

Sherlock:  No.

John:  Homicidal moments, sure.

Sherlock: Oh, absolutely.


	35. Chapter 35

**What is your most favorite part of your partner's body?**

Sherlock: [groans] What is this, Tiger Beat?

John:  Do they still print Tiger Beat?

Sherlock:  If they don’t, they print something like it.

John:  I suppose I could say something meaningful like his heart, or his mind, but honestly?  Have you seen his arse?  I could write sonnets.  Oh, stop blushing, you know it’s spectacular, why else would you wear trousers cut like that?

Sherlock:  I have no idea what you’re talking about.

John:  All right, then.  I answered it.  Your turn.

Sherlock:  Angels and ministers of grace, defend me.

John:  I’m rather curious about the answer.

Sherlock:  [clears throat]  There are many things about your person that I admire, as you do not need me to tell you, as I’ve made it abundantly clear in the past.

John:  Insufficient.

Sherlock:  Your shoulders are…appealing.

John:  Wrong.

Sherlock:  Your eyes are an attractive color.

John:  Wrong again.

Sherlock:  Don’t make me say it.

John:  [laughs]  All right, I’ll take pity.  We’ll just pretend that the real answer is my shoulders, then, shall we?

Sherlock:  Yes, please.  Thank you.

John:  The real answer being, of course…

Sherlock:  John!

John:  All right, all right.  But you have to show your favorite part adequate appreciation later.

Sherlock:  Acceptable.


	36. Chapter 36

**Sherlock and John, if you were superheroes, who would you be?**

John:  I think we should answer for each other, don’t you?

Sherlock:  Oh, absolutely.

John:  Well, there is only one answer for you.

Sherlock:  Is there?

John:  You are obviously the goddamned Batman.

Sherlock: [laughs]  Is that so?

John:  Well-turned-out playboy by day, dark-masked avenger by night, naturally.

Sherlock:  Then you are Captain America.

John:  …I’m British.

Sherlock:  I’m aware.  But you obviously suit the character’s earnest, helpful bonhomie.

John:  Can I be Captain America’s cousin, Captain Britain?

Sherlock:  I don’t see why not.  Don’t even need to change the color scheme.

John:  Excellent.


	37. Chapter 37

**Any kids on the horizon?**

John and Sherlock: [hysterical laughter]


	38. Chapter 38

**Imagine: Amazingly, both of you are free and in the same place for the next 24 hours. What do you do?**

John and Sherlock: [smirky giggling]

John: That is the leadingest of leading questions I have ever heard.

Sherlock:  John, whatever do you mean?  We’d obviously spend it playing MarioKart.


	39. Chapter 39

**What is your relationship with your fans?  Do you generally enjoy the attention, or is it unappreciated and/or too much at times?  Have you ever had a fan "cross the line," so to speak?  How has your fanbase changed since "To a Stranger?"**

John:  Well, our fanbases were quite different before To a Stranger.  Yours has changed less, I’d guess.

Sherlock:  Possibly.  I had, shall we say, a not-insignificant following among gay men before the film.

John:  Yeah, I really, really didn’t.  I won’t say it hasn’t been an adjustment.  The level of interest in our lives has increased by at least an order of magnitude.

Sherlock:  Ten orders of magnitude.

John:  We’re news in a way that we’d never been before.  And sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that half the world is just waiting for us to break up or for one of us to be caught with an underwear model or something.

Sherlock:  Tall poppy syndrome isn’t unique to us.

John:  No, of course not.  It is difficult, sometimes.  It’s often just easier for us to go out separately.  The level of paparazzi and public attention we get increases a lot if we’re out together.  We’ve had times that we wanted to go out for dinner, or to a play or something, and just decided we didn’t feel like dealing with the press.

Sherlock:  Good lord, we have done that, haven’t we?

John:  Yes.

Sherlock:  We shouldn’t do that anymore.  I don’t want our lives to be run by fear of the media.

John:  Neither do I, but it’s easier said than done.

Sherlock:  Many things are easier said than done.  

John:  All right, then.  No more.

Sherlock:  Good.


	40. Chapter 40

**What are Harry and Sally up to these days?**

John:  Well, they’re up to no good, I can tell you that.

Sherlock:  Plotting where to hide our bodies, no doubt.


	41. Chapter 41

**What's your favorite thing to do immediately after you've finished shooting a movie, or preforming in a play, etc?**

John:  Begin obsessing about the next project.

Sherlock:  I’m much the same, except I like to have a glass of wine first.


	42. Chapter 42

**Sherlock, would you mind explaining your particular affinity for Orangina?**

Sherlock:  It’s fizzy and tastes like oranges.  What further information do you require?  I suppose the bottle has a pleasing shape.


	43. Chapter 43

**Dear lord, have you two played MarioKart together? Praytell, how did THAT go?**

John:  Once.

Sherlock:  We’ve agreed never to speak of it again.

John:  In a notarized, legally-binding document.


	44. Chapter 44

**What's the secret to a happy marriage?**

Sherlock:  The question implies that you think we have one.

John:  Don’t we?

Sherlock:  I don’t know, do we?  What constitutes a happy marriage?

John:  One in which you only want to axe-murder your husband once per day instead of multiple times?

Sherlock:  Seems a rather low bar to set.

John:  Don’t worry, he’s just being crotchety.  We do have a happy marriage.

Sherlock:  Of course we do.

John:  So what’s the secret?

Sherlock:  Good coffee.

John:  Diligence about oral hygiene.

Sherlock:  Mutual appreciation and respect.

John:  Regular sex and deep love.

Sherlock:  Respecting one another’s bookshelf space.

John:  Not eating the last carton of yogurt in the fridge.

Sherlock:  And alcohol.

John:  Oh yes.  Definitely.


	45. Chapter 45

**What's the best part of being a celebrity couple?**

John:  Getting a really good table in restaurants is nice.

Sherlock:  Honestly, I don’t know if there is anything good about being a “celebrity couple.”  There are good things about being successful actors.  Having choice of projects, being financially comfortable, getting to do rewarding work with creative, inspiring people.  But the notoriety is more or less all downside.

John:  Well, I still like getting a good table.


	46. Chapter 46

**John and Sherlock, is work easier or harder since getting married? And why?**

John:  Bit of both, I think.

Sherlock:  Considering someone else’s needs and schedules was an adjustment for me.

John:  I will think very hard about location work from now on.  I can’t speak for Sherlock, but the three months he was away in Prague were…difficult.

Sherlock:  Being apart was more distracting than I would have predicted.

John:  But it’s also nice to have someone else in my corner.  Someone else to read my scripts, someone to run lines with.

Sherlock:  John does make a superior scene-reading partner to Sally.

John:  Well, I am an Academy Award-winning actor.

Sherlock:  As am I.

John:  It’s like we were made for each other.

Sherlock:  Don’t get treacly.


	47. Chapter 47

**How do you both feel about watching To A Stranger? Is it weird seeing yourselves on the screen kissing and having sex and fighting? Is it weird, or do you only see the characters and not yourselves?**

John:  We haven’t watched it in awhile, honestly.  I know that for me, that film is so special that I’ve sort of tucked it away in a little corner of my brain, untouched and perfect.

Sherlock:  It’s not perfect, John.  Nothing is.  

John:  Don’t tell me you’re still whingeing about the scene in the deli.

Sherlock:  I can’t believe he used THAT take!  I overshot that line by a mile.

John:  You’re crazy.

Sherlock:  To answer your question, John’s right that we haven’t watched it in some time, but the last time we did, I don’t recall it being strange.  You do have to develop some distance when you watch yourself onscreen or you’d never step before a camera again.  

John:  I try to forget that it’s me I’m watching.  Especially when it’s that damn clown suit and the waterslide.


	48. Chapter 48

**Can we expect you two to costar together again?**

John:  We are resisting with every fiber of our being.

Sherlock:  And believe me, it requires a great deal of resistance, because everyone else seems wildly enthusiastic about the idea.

John:  For some reason, everyone’s mad for us to co-star in a film where we’d have to kill each other.

Sherlock: And somehow you’re always the hero and I’m always the villain who gets his comeuppance at the end.

John:  Just as it should be.

Sherlock:  Believe it or not, someone actually did pitch us a co-starring vehicle in which we’d play actors who fall in love during a film shoot and then come out to much sturm und drang.

John:  I’m sure the looks on our faces must have been priceless; that producer beat a hasty retreat.  Such an original idea, that.  Wonder where he got the notion?

Sherlock:  Honestly, though…someday, I’d like to act with you again.  

John: [smiles] Yeah.  I would too.  Worked out pretty well the first time.  But not for awhile!  Give us a few years.

Sherlock:  Or ten.


	49. Chapter 49

**If you could wish one thing for each other, what would it be?**

Sherlock:  I would wish for John to have the sort of career that his talent warrants, and for him to have the respect he deserves.

John:  I wish that someday, Sherlock will stop waiting for me to leave him.

Sherlock:  I’m not waiting for that.

John:  You are, without knowing it.


	50. Chapter 50

**What is your favorite memory of your marriage so far?**

John:  That’s an odd question.  I almost feel like most of the really significant moments were from before we were married.

Sherlock:  So it’s just been humdrum tedium since, is that it?

John:  No, of course not!  We’ve been busy, is all!  All right, I’ve got one.

Sherlock:  When I came home from Prague.

John:  Yes.  That was…yes.

Sherlock:  I’d been away for three months.  Skype is fine, but it’s nothing to actually having John with me.

John:  I couldn’t even sleep the night before you came home.  I paced all morning.  And when that door finally opened and there you were…yes, that’s a good memory.


	51. Chapter 51

**Most romantic thing the other has said to you, and vice versa. Why?**

John:  Oh, gosh.  You know…I don’t remember when this was, but I said something about it being an anniversary of ours, some period of months, and Sherlock made light of it, as always.  I was a little hurt, but he said that every day he spent with me was worth celebrating, none more than any other.  I think about that a lot, actually.

Sherlock:  Do you?

John:  Yes, of course I do.  It was…real.

Sherlock:  Hmm.  Occasionally I try to say romantic things, because I think it might please you.  Perhaps I should stop trying and just say what comes to mind.

John:  I think that’s a good idea.  What about you, then?

Sherlock:  What about me?

John:  What’s the most romantic thing I ever said to you?

Sherlock:  You’ll be disappointed.

John:  Impossible.

Sherlock:  You said “yes.”

John: …

Sherlock:  See, I told you that you’d be…

John:  Can I change my answer from before?


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that I missed a few Ask John & Sherlock answers when I posted them originally - these are ones that I forgot to tag when I posted them on Tumblr, so they got missed. Thanks to user colleblanche for gathering these up for me!
> 
> Also, these are in no particular order, and many of them were written before Series 2 aired, and I noticed that I was not consistent whether I called them Holmes and Watson or Sherlock and John. I'm not going to go through and make them consistent.

**Did you lose friends in Hollywood when you decided to go public as a couple?**

Watson:  Real friends, no.  Fake friends, I’m sure we did.

Holmes:  It is sometimes difficult in Hollywood to know who is your friend and who isn’t.

Watson:  Only sometimes?

Holmes:  Political correctness creates a false dichotomy.  Many fear for their own careers and images, so none dare speak out against us publicly because it would be considered bad press to do so.  Yet there are plenty who disapprove and even felt threatened by us.

Watson:  It hasn’t always been easy.  But there’s been enough genuine support to make it bearable.  And of course, we have each other, which is more than a lot of people can say.

Holmes:  As far as knowing who one’s friends really are, to be quite frank, I trust no one but John.

Watson:  You shouldn’t.  I’d sell you out for a pint of ice cream.

Holmes:  I hope you’d at least hold out for one of the more expensive varieties.

Watson:  Naturally.


	53. Chapter 53

**What are each of your favorite movies that neither of you were in?**

John:  My favorite non-us movie is “The Thirty-Nine Steps.”  Definitely.  That movie has it all.

Sherlock:  He’s lying.  That’s what he tells interviewers.  His actual favorite movie is “Parenthood.”  He cries at the end, every time.

John:  All right, smart-arse, what’s yours, then?

Sherlock:  ”Rashomon.”

John:  [laughs]

Sherlock:  I beg your pardon.

John:  Now THAT is a bullshit interview answer.  His favorite movie is “The Omen.”  

Sherlock:  I never said that film wasn’t on the list.

John:  You watched “The Omen” last week.  If you’ve watched “Rashomon” since we met, I’ll eat this couch cushion.

Sherlock: [clears throat]

John:  Uh-huh, I thought so.


	54. Chapter 54

**Has one of you ever gone to visit the other on set while in this relationship? How did everyone else react to this?**

John:  Yes, we have.  It’s fairly common for friends and families to visit sets.  Sherlock likes to pop in unannounced and lurk in the background.

Sherlock:  I do not _lurk_.  I stay out of the way.

John:  You loom over everyone’s shoulder to make sure they’re shooting me to your satisfaction.

Sherlock:  Well, when you come to my sets, everything stops while the entire cast and crew swarm to greet you.

John:  I can’t help being this charming.

Sherlock:  We considered discontinuing set visits after that damn video went around.

John:  I still don’t know what the big deal was.  It was perfectly appropriate.  I hadn’t seen you for three weeks, was I  _not_  supposed to hug and kiss you?

Sherlock:  The rest of world wasn’t quite ready to see us do that, I suppose.

John:  Nobody who was actually there thought anything of it.

Sherlock:  I suppose such incidents are unavoidable in the age of smartphones.  Everyone’s a paparrazzo these days.

John:  In the end, we decided we’d be damned if we’d let it affect how we live our lives.  I’ll visit my husband on the set if I want to, dammit.

Sherlock:  But we phone first now.


	55. Chapter 55

**When people are asked "if you could go back, would you do anything differently," they usually say no, because who knows how things would have turned out otherwise. But if it were magically guaranteed that things would work out just as they have for both of you: looking back, is there anything you would do differently if given the chance to do things over? I mean about To a Stranger, or your relationship, or anything at all.**

Holmes:  If it were guaranteed that everything would be the same, what would be the point of doing things over?

Watson:  That’s not what she meant, Sherlock.

Holmes:  Then what did she mean?

Watson:  She meant…oh, hang it.  I’ll answer.  The one thing I might change is that I’d have had more guts on that last day of filming, and told Sherlock how I felt about him then.  We’d still have had to spend some months apart, but at least we wouldn’t have spent them in agonizing suspense.

Holmes:  Amazingly, I agree.  At the time, however, we were both conscious of being too hasty.  We didn’t trust ourselves.

Watson:  We should have.  Neither of us are prone to short-lived on-set romances.  We should have known that it wasn’t temporary, that what we were feeling wasn’t just the result of proximity and emotions running high during the shoot.

Holmes:  I might be reconsidering my answer, John.  That moment when you came to my dressing room was very nearly worth the wait.

Watson:  It was, wasn’t it?  All right, if not that, what would you change?

Holmes:  I’d have worn different shoes to the Variety screening.

Watson:  Oh God, not this again.

Holmes:  The ones I wore were entirely unsuitable.  I can’t believe I left the house like that.

Watson:  They were fine!

Holmes:  They were black, John!  With a gray jacket?

Watson:  It’s a wonder you can sleep at night, with all your regrets and your fashion mistakes.

Holmes:  Indeed it is.  I’m glad you understand.


	56. Chapter 56

**Have you been offered modeling or endorsing jobs as a couple for fashion campaigns or stuff like that?**

John:  Oh yes.  Both.  The designers pant after Sherlock for editorial shoots.  Look at him, he’s got legs for miles.

Sherlock:  You look well in a suit as much as I do, John.

John:  We’ve been asked to do photoshoots together.  We’ve not ruled it out.  Sometimes fashion shoots are fun.

Sherlock:  If your idea of fun is being posed and dressed like a doll.

John:  You didn’t mind so much the other night.

Sherlock:  Next question.


	57. Chapter 57

**There have been very persisitent rumours lately that both of you have been cast in the highly anticipated latest Gatiss and Moffat musical "The Sound of Murder". I've even seen a poster floating around the internet, although it might have been fanmade. So, is there any truth to these rumours, and if yes, what made you accept the parts? Are you going to do your own singing?**

Watson: …

Holmes: …

Watson:  Sherlock, is there something you’d like to share with me?

Holmes:  I was just about to ask you the same question.

Watson:  Have you been secretly auditioning for movie musicals again?  I thought we talked about that.

Holmes:  Yes, John, I do that after I’m finished with my job moonlighting as an exotic dancer.

Watson:  I’d sooner believe that than I’d believe you were up for a part in a musical.

Holmes:  This is the first I’m hearing of these rumors.  Neither of us have been cast or even contacted, as far as I know.

Watson:  Sherlock has a lovely singing voice, actually.  He wouldn’t be bad in a musical.  I, on the other hand, would clear the theater with the first note.

Holmes:  He’s a hopeless shower-singer.  It’s really quite excruciating.

Watson:  Oh, bugger off!  You don’t hear me complaining about your horrible violin-scratchings, do you?

Holmes:  On the contrary, I hear you complaining about them this very moment.

Watson:  Apart from now, I mean.  It’s worse because he plays so beautifully when he decides to.  It’s really quite —  _inspiring_.

Holmes:  Why do you think I refrain?  I play when I need to think, and if I play nicely you find it too  _inspiring_  and I suddenly discover that I’m otherwise occupied.

Watson:  I don’t hear you complaining.

Holmes:  On the contrary, you hear me complaining right  _now!_


	58. Chapter 58

**What is it like for you when you are on other sides of the world and have to Skype and email rather than actually seeing each other?**

Watson:  Blimey.  What’s it like?  I’m not sure how to answer that.

Holmes:  It’s rubbish.

Watson:  That’s one way to put it.  We haven’t actually spent all that much time apart.  The longest was what, a fortnight?

Holmes:  Sixteen days.

Watson:  See, I knew you’d know.  I’m surprised you didn’t include the hours and minutes.

Holmes:  You get shirty when I do that.

Watson:  It’s annoying.  But let’s try to stay on the subject, shall we?  Being away from home is just part of the job of an actor.  It’s even harder when your partner is in the business as well.  You can’t possibly coordinate your schedules all the time, but we do try.

Holmes:  It’s new for both of us, as well.  We’ve both been accustomed for most of our careers to considering only our own schedules.  It’s another variable to introduce.

Watson:  Video chats and phone calls and emails can tide you over, but it’s no substitute.  

Holmes:  I think it makes it worse.  I’m inclined to try and put it completely from my mind, at which I am never entirely successful, so hearing John’s voice or seeing him on the computer just reminds me how far away he is and that I’m not with him.

Watson:  I’m quite the opposite.  I’ll take what I can get.  That’s led to a few disagreements.  We’ve had to compromise.

Holmes:  I’ve been told, repeatedly and with emphasis, that compromise of that sort is the key to a successful relationship.

Watson:  Not now, dear.


End file.
